Hello, my name is Dr. Jonathan Goorvich, PhD, DDS, OBGYN. With credentials like that you may be asking yourself, “what are you doing working at G4?” Well, my friends, the answer is simple: I made those credentials up. I am not a body, mouth or vagina doctor, rather, I work closely with the good people of The Feed. You have never read my blog posts because all of them get taken down within minutes of publication and result in me attending a sensitivity training workshop in Palm Desert. But, you have seen my videogame work. With the aid of my trusty intern Steven Moreno, I provide a lot of the HD gameplay videos that you watch and make negative comments on. Thank you for those, by the way.
The rest of the work I do here at G4 has absolutely nothing to do with The Feed, but when the editors decided they were going to make these fancy little “Meet The Feed” articles I immediately threw a childish hissy-fit and demanded to be part of it. So without further adieu, it’s time for you to meet Sir Jonathan Goorvich of Awesomeville, Esq. [This credential has also been made up]

Interview: Jonathan Goorvich, G4 Interactive Content Associate
By: Dave Hall
What do you do for G4?
I’m G4’s Interactive Content Associate. This somehow means that I am in charge of getting all of our G4 content (both broadcast and web) to all of our new media outlets, like iTunes, Video OnDemand, DirecTV, mobile phones, all that jazz. I also plan and create a lot of G4’s HD gameplay videos. But as far as my mom knows, I’m the SVP of the entire network. Don’t tell her otherwise!
What is your favorite videogame of all time?
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time for Nintendo 64. That game blew my mind at the time it came out. But I am biased, I will buy and play anything Zelda. If Nintendo put out The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Cooking Challenge, I’d be chopping celery with my Wiimote controlled boomerang and loving it.
If a friend was describing you to another friend for a blind date, how would they describe you?
Wait, does this mean that the date is actually blind? If so, I’m 6’2” with the body of a Greek God, face of an Italian male model and junk that would make a horse insecure. I’d just have to make sure that this girl never touches me and finds out the horrible truth. Hm… my plan has already backfired.
Monster X, Godzilla, and Rodan start leveling downtown and the news says they are heading your way: what do you do?
A lot of crying. I’m not going to pretend to be a hero because I’d probably just end up humiliating myself in some way. And there’s no way I would try to make a run for it because I am sure the traffic would be a nightmare and I really hate traffic. So honestly, I’d just stay at home and cry a lot until they crushed me.
Where is the most exotic place you have traveled, and what do you remember most about it?
I went to Thailand last year to visit a good friend of mine who now lives there. It’s a really amazing and beautiful country with such a rich and magical culture. Here’s an example of such culture: One night my friend and I went down to Bangkok’s Naughty District and caught what the locals call a “Ping Pong Show.” Some very tired and well fed looking Thai lady shot a barrage of ping pong balls out of an extremely shocking place on her body. While I was able to swat down and dodge a lot of them, one ball landed on the table in front of me, bounced up and hit me right on the lips. I immediately began vomiting with rage and was then asked to leave the fine establishment. Oh Thailand, your majesty is never ending!
You free an imprisoned genie from a lamp and he grants you three wishes. What are they and why? (You know the rules: no wishing for more wishes.)
An order of chicken wings, a six pack of beer and a good DVD. Then, when I’ve eaten the wings, drank the beer and watched the DVD, I’ll regret the poor choices I have made in life and learn from them for the next time I rescue a genie. Life is about learning from your mistakes.
What gadget do you currently own that you can’t live without?
My iPhone. I’m totally in love with it. If they offered an app where the iPhone could make love to you, I’d probably marry it.
What is your favorite kid's cereal?
Fruity Pebbles. Not only are they awesome, but Fred Flintstone is on the box! Fred Flintstone and I agree that Fruity Pebbles are Yabba-Dabba Delicious! If I'm the first guy to think of that then back off Post Cereal Company, I'm totally trademarking it!
What game character do you feel you have the most in common with?
Probably Hoagie from Day of the Tentacle. Like when my nerdy friend Bernard had to travel through time to save the world from an evil purple tentacle and asked me to help, I totally felt like Hoagie.
You are about to bury a time capsule with space for only 3 things to remind the world you were here. What goes in the capsule?
Dry ice, me, and a frozen pizza.
There. That’s my interview. In retrospect, throwing that hissy-fit totally wasn’t worth it.

